Where to Start?

Where to start? That's a good question, but perhaps an even better one is when to start. Regardless, we'll delve into that later. 

The question that plagued me at the beginning of my recovery was a simple one - am I an alcoholic? In my experience, most alcoholics refuse to acknowledge that they have a problem. There's a well-known saying that perfectly sums it up: alcoholism is the only disease that will try to convince you that you don't have it. 

Fortunately, there's a straightforward test to determine whether you have a problem or not. It involves answering the following questions:

Question	Yes	No
Do you lose time from work due to drinking?	Yes	No
Is drinking making your home life unhappy?	Yes	No
Do you drink because you are shy with other people?	Yes	No
Is drinking affecting your reputation?	Yes	No
Have you ever felt remorse after drinking?	Yes	No
Have you got into financial difficulties as a result of drinking?	Yes	No
Do you turn to lower companions and an inferior environment when drinking?	Yes	No
Does your drinking make you careless of your family's welfare?	Yes	No
Has your ambition decreased since drinking?	Yes	No
Do you crave a drink at a definite time daily?	Yes	No
Do you want a drink the next morning?	Yes	No
Does drinking cause you to have difficulty sleeping?	Yes	No
Has your efficiency decreased since drinking?	Yes	No
Is drinking jeopardizing your job or business?	Yes	No
Do you drink to escape from worries or trouble?	Yes	No
Do you drink alone?	Yes	No
Have you ever had a complete loss of memory as a result of drinking?	Yes	No
Has your physician ever treated you for drinking?	Yes	No
Do you drink to build up your self-confidence?	Yes	No
Have you ever been to a hospital or institution on account of drinking?	Yes	No

I scored 17. How did you do? 

If you answered "Yes" to three or more questions, chances are you probably have a problem with alcohol. So, what's the next step? Well, the obvious answer is to seek help, but here we encounter the first issue with alcoholics - they don't believe they have a problem and therefore don't want help. In fact, the mere thought of getting help repulsed me, because it would mean that I would have to stop drinking! 

At that time, I believed that I didn't need to stop drinking and that I loved it too much. If I had a broken leg, I wouldn't hesitate to seek help. However, I refused to acknowledge that I had a serious illness that would eventually lead to death. It took a great deal of pain and trauma inflicted upon me, my family, and my friends before I was even willing to consider seeking help. 

Luckily for me, that moment did come, and I went to Alcoholics Anonymous, and my life changed forever. Many people refer to this moment in their recovery as their "low point" or "jumping off place."